Princess and the Pea Chapter 2- Thief until Proven Royal

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I woke to a strange array of noise. As I stirred a bit more I could make out muffled laughter and chatter. I pulled the rabbit up to stare her down.
“I have special mission for you Remmy, are you up to the challenge?”
Remmy’s huge eyes peered into my own. Rabbits can’t smile but I swear Remmy was smiling her ears off at me.
I surveyed my surroundings. Remmy and I seemed to be stationed on top of a hill or a mix between a hill and a cliff. I crawled to the edge and lowered myself onto my tummy to take a look around. It was a market place of some sorts. I’d never seen a market place in real life but Nanny had once drawn a picture for me. I could easily spot the resemblance.
“Alright Remmy, its time to get moving.” I swung my leg over the ledge and without thinking I swung my other leg over the edge. I guess this could have done with some more thinking because once I pushed my weight over the edge I went tumbling down the hill’s steep side. I spilled out onto the cream colored stone of the market square. My petticoats, dresses, cape, rabbit, and hair furiously wrapped itself around me. Thankfully my little episode went unnoticed.
I wondered around unnoticed. Here I was not a princess. I could be a merchants daughter, a recently orphaned young lady, a seamstress, an apprentice, heck I could even be a prostitute. No one knew me and that was perfectly fine.
The smell of food stirred my tummy into a fit. How exactly did one get food? When I was younger I had always just assumed that the food came from the plates. It wasn’t until Nanny showed me the kitchen that I knew people had to cook food. But that was actually as far as my knowledge went.
I looked around at the people selling food and my stomach kicked its fit into a full blown tantrum. A lonely fruit stand caught my eye. I wandered over to the shiny red apples and picked out the biggest. That first bite was a heaven I could not possibly describe.
“You gonna pay for that bird head?” I stopped mid bite.
“Whahh?” I managed to get out. To hell with no talking while you eat.
“Yeah, are you gonna pay for that!” It was not longer the young man scolding me. It was an older man, he wore a silly apron with a smiling apple on it.
“Pay? With what?” Was paying something popular with the commoners? The man with the silly apron’s face grew red. Then it grew even more red when I took another bite.
“Guards!” His scream made the passing market visitors jump, I just about fell over myself. 
Safe to say the guards were totally buying my “I’m not Princess Celia bit” because they picked me and Remmy right up and hauled us away. I was so confused I didn’t register anything until I was sitting at a table with a dilapidated candle. The two men sat down across from me. The skinnier man rolled my apple onto the table.
“Girl! Did you eat this here apple?” The slightly more plump guard asked.
“Yes, yes I did eat that apple. You didn’t let me finish it.” I tired to stay confident.
“Hah! She admits to it!” The skinny guard hollered punching the other guards arm.
“Calm down Skip.” He said placing a strong hand on the skinny guards head and pushing him down into his seat.  He leaned closer to me and quietly muttered “Sorry pretty bird, it’s his first week on the job.” I nodded at him slightly.
            Skip pulled Remmy by her ears from somewhere behind the table and plopped her next to the apple. “And what do you have to say for this one? What of the ten carrots this one stole?!” He was growing exicted again at the new suspect to drill.
            “What!? But Remmy didn’t steal anything!” I reached for her.
            “Then what do ya call this!” Skip pushed Remmy’s mouth open to reveal the 3 carrots she had stuffed in there for safe keeping.
            “Oh Remmy no….” I was beginning to get the idea that food must be payed for and it is taboo to take it without the act of paying.
            “Now Pretty Bird, today is your lucky day. I feel bad that you have to put up with this clown, so I’ll let you off if you just pay us whatever money you have to cover the cost of the apple and carrots.”
            “But I haven’t got any….money…. Princesses don’t carry money on them.” Just for added precaution I padded my coats to see if there was anything that could be ‘money’.
            Skip and the old guard stared at me for a moment then broke out in a deep belly laugh.
            “Princess…. Ha, of all the excuses I’ve ever heard! Did you hear her Skip?”
            “Oh I heard her Vaughn!” Skip held his belly and slapped the table. This must have been the funniest thing he’d ever heard.
            “Hey! I’m serious!” I banged on the table to get their attention. It didn’t work as well as I’d hoped.
            “Oh, if you’re really a princess…. Oh! If you’re really a princess….!” Skip’s grey eyes were practically doing a jig. He had a stupid grin on his face as he looked at Vaughn, Remmy, and I in turn. “I’ll be right back!”
            “Now Skip, where the heck you goin boy?” Vaughn shook his head. He stared at me and Remmy for a while. “So you really don’t know what money is.”
            “Not at all….” What was this money thing they were so hung up on?
            Skip came crashing into the room balancing two covered plates in his hands. He happily pranced around almost dropping the plates and awkwardly placed(dropped) them in  front of Vaughn and I.
            “Here eat up, I spent all morning preparing this Partridge for a late lunch. Pretty bird can have half of my share.” I lifted the cover of my food to a beautiful Partridge breast encased in spices. I picked up the fork and just about devoured it in one bite.
            “Well Skip, you’ve really outdone yourself with this poor Partridge.” Vaughn chuckled shaking his fork at Skip. I paused mid bite and continued to chew once Vaughn continued to eat.
            I set my fork down quietly and wiped away at my mouth. “Then this must be the most confused Partridge in the world, for this here is a chicken.” I caught Skips bright eyes.
            “Well all be, that is a princesses!” Skip punched Vaughn’s arm. “Princesses are notorious for picking up even the smallest details in anything.”
            “What do ya mean Skip?” Vaughn laughed at the idea.
            “Small details, you know, like they can tell if something is not pure cotton or silk. That Chicken taste no different than a Partridge like that, but it’s still a chicken, heck even you thought it was a Partridge.” Skip beamed with pride at his uncanny knowledge of princesses odd senses.
            “And how the heck does this solve anythen? Royals never carry their own money.” Vaughn shook his head. He was almost sad to point out the falls in Skip’s plan. Well almost.
            Skip’s face was an open book for the world to read. His eye brows knit together as he contemplated his next more.     
            “All right, I’m willing to bet you got a huge chunk of gold nailed to one or two of your ears.” He looked at Vaugh, “The first born almost always got at least both ears nailed.”
            Gold? In my ear? I reached my fingers to one ear and retreated a bit at the feel of something cold. It was round and cold to the touch.
I remembered the day Nanny nailed the gold to my ears. I didn't think much of it since I was only 2 when it happened. Mama was supposed to do the honors and Papa was supposed to specially pick out the gold.
Mama had declined to do it because Nanny was ‘capable of doing it herself’. Papa left me with 10 to choose from. I felt so unimportant to them that I sulked for a whole week. Eventually Nanny grew impatient and sat me down with the help of a guard to nail the gold into my ears. Lesta sat with me through the whole process. She delivered a doll on behalf of the maids. I held onto tightly to it while Nanny nailed the gold into my earlobe. Lesta was a true friend and when she turned 3 I had similar gold Nailed to her ears so she could specially attend to me like Nanny did. 
I pulled my hair back so the guards could see my earlobe. "Is this what you mean?" 
Vaughn inspected the gold a bit. "You weren't kidding about it being nailed in there." I stared at him. "Whens the last time you took this off?"
I stared at him. "I've never taken it off, they can't be taken off." Vaughn sighed as he looked to Skip. "Well what are we going to do? We need to gold to pay for the apple but we have to give her change of some sorts."
"What do you mean change?" I asked. 
"Sorry princess, a chunk of gold is enough to buy you 300 apples if you wanted. You only need to pay for one apple and 10 carrots" Skip was starting to dumb things down for me. 
"We could always give her the remaining amount in the form of money." Vaughn pondered their next move.
"That could work" Skip clapped his hands together.
"Hey... is there anything else I could put in my ear in the mean time?" 
"We could give you a smaller gold chunk for your ear, that would help us out. Less change to give you." I nodded in agreement.
And thats how I spent my first afternoon in a kingdom I learned was called Everest. Skip and Vaughn hopelessly struggled to cut off the gold chunk from my ear for at least 2 hours. Then they wasted another hour trying to get me the 'change' and the replacement gold chunk. I learned that this new one could be easily removed for my convenience.
(thats all for this update :>)

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